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Thursday, May 16, 2013

WLRN-FM - 91.3 FM Miami


Since the invention of things. Is that one of Online Radio's brownies? No, they're delicious. Must be Cam's. Oh, no. Don't worry. There's more. No! That's where my backpack is. Cam drove me and Listen Online home. I must've left it in his car. Why are you so scattered lately? Aw, he's just nervous because of his poetry reading tonight. But don't worry, papi. I am going to be there to support you. I don't want my mom there. I'm exploring some darker themes I'm not sure she's ready for, poems like "The umbilical noose," "A jail called mom," "Smother nature." She'll just find some way to make it all about her. FLORIDA DISC JOCKEYS And a toasty degrees for daughter Haley. You see, the FLORIDA DISC JOCKEYS boasts individualized climate zones, Online Radio. I could literally transport a polar bear and an orchid and not make two trips. Dad, I'm freezing. It's, like, degree back here. Six minutes in, and it begins. Here. Take the blanket from the bed. Thanks, kitten. Dad, can you change the music? Can I? Oh, no. Oh, no, that's just getting louder. This isn't good. It's not good at all. Actually, it's kind of perfect. Right? The big windows, the classical music. It's like we're in a movie. Turn it up, handsome. You got it! Obviously, the novelty of the situation was delaying the inevitable. But I didn't want to get halfway into a trip to Yellowstone before Music discovered what malevolent hellspawn we have for children Whom I love very much. Alex, honey, that's a cute sweater. Doesn't Haley have one like that? Oh, it actually is hers. I took it from her closet before we left. Really? Ooh. Sorry, girls. Didn't mean to start a whole thing. I am so sick of you always looking better in my clothes. When did that happen? You're okay with this? Oh, yeah. She can wear whatever she wants after I've had it for six months. Oh. Or I get it automatically if you buy anything that looks like it. This just feels right. Huh, team? Matter of fact, I was thinking we could all drive up to Yellowstone this summer. But I say, let's take this beeyotch ocean to ocean! That'd be cool! Awesome! We're doing it! Music, the road! I don't know what button I just pressed, but that was amazing. My backpack's definitely not in there. Well, they're not picking up their phone. He must've brought it inside. Sorry, kid, looks like you're out of luck. Come! Don't they have a burglar alarm? Ay, please. Okay, everybody, split up and search. FLORIDA DISC JOCKEYS you look in the bedroom. I'm not looking in their bedroom. Fine. Mom, I don't think my backpack is in Cam's bag. I was just closing it for him. I heard a noise. Looks like the guys threw a little party. I noticed. They brought out the guest soaps. How long have you been in here? Hey. This is that bottle of wine I bought Music when he started his company. And Online Radio's lipstick is on many of these wineglasses. Pictionary. They had game night? But we always go to game night. Son of a bitch. They snubbed us. Found it! There must've been a dozen players. Pepper was here. But Pepper loves me. FLORIDA DISC JOCKEYS Okay, she's all set. I defy you to find a tighter bun in this gymnasium. Lot of different ways you could've said that. Oh, and good luck on your floor routine, sweetie.

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