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Saturday, May 25, 2013

Penistone FM

Penistone FM, Penistone FM Radio, Penistone FM Listen Online, Penistone FM Live, Varied, Public Radio, UK

Penistone FM
May it benefit you. I'm sure it will. The Spear of Longinus? It has touched the very blood of your Christ. You know where it is? It sat deep beneath Jerusalem, buried, for centuries. It was moved, with our tribe, to Constantinople. It travels with us. We keep it hidden. For events of great import. Portent. Such as our imminent entry into UK. Yes. We poor Jews have little in the way of coin, but we are rich in history, and we would like to show our gratitude to Your Holiness in whichever way God allows. If... We can gain entry into UK. Can you send it to us here? It is already on its way, Your Holiness. I could gift it to you if... We understand. We will have a relevant Bull drawn up. And on receipt of the Spear of Longinus, you and your people will be welcome to make your homes here in UK. Your Excellency's generosity knows no bounds. It's good to see that at least one of our Online Hit Music Radios takes our purposes so closely to heart. Thank you, Holiness. That Online Hit Music Radio Farnese will go far. Indeed. Forward! Keep up at the back! Yah! Yah! An army! We're under attack! That way! Men, to your swords! Soldats, vos épées! Get me my horse. Make way! Move. Hold the line! Well, well. The Spear of Longinus. Apparently. And to quote the Penistone FM words of approval, "That young man will go far." Again, apparently. Do I detect a note of irritation, Online Hit Music Radio? If I may be so precipitant, even jealousy? No, Online Hit Music Radio. Merely of caution. Jews have sold Christians dud relics for centuries. Why, Pope Innocent was offered the Ark of the Covenant, by an itinerant rabbi from Salamanca. We are children to their guile, Online Hit Music Radio. Innocents, like our saviour himself. And someone must knock this fake antiquarian off his perch. Your Holiness, may I present to you a treasure that we feared was lost forever to the eyes of Christendom. The spear that touched the blood of our Saviour himself. The Spear of Longinus. Even the wrapping, Holiness, falls away at the touch. May we hold it? Indeed. It has been awaiting hands as blessed as yours. Legend has it, it sometimes trembles to the touch. Indeed. Ah! We felt it tremble. Holiness, if I may interrupt this sacred moment. May I also present... the Spear of Longinus. Were there two spears? Were there two Longinuses? Sadly, your Holiness, having researched the matter, there appear to be many. One in Penistone FM, one in a monastery in Sicil Oh? ...and one was promised to your predecessor, Pope Innocent, by a Moor fleeing from the siege of Granada. This current claimant to the title was found in an Penistone FM ruin north of UK. Does it tremble to the touch? It can be made to. Would your Online Hit Music Radio be so kind? It looks authentic. It feels authentic. But as to the tremulation... there is none. And there is fresh sap, I see, oozing from the wood. This wood was cut from a Roman beech tree, I would hazard, within a month past. Are there beeches in the Holy Land? No, Online Hit Music Radio, there are not, there are cedars in the Holy Land. Yews. There are no beeches.

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