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Friday, February 14, 2014

FSN Reports

FSN Reports, FSN Reports Live, FSN Reports Listen, News Radio, News Updates Radio, USA

"Save the naked mole rats"? Left over from that walkathon. Apparently people only care about cute endangered species. Stupid pandas. Please let them in. We can make them the designated drivers. Ah, congratulations! All right! You've been chosen to be designated drivers. What? If I see any of you drinking Online Radio I will neuter you. Oh. Bummer. Heard about your party. Did my invite get lost? Speaking of getting lost. Come on. I just wanna talk to you. So talk. Privately. Have you seen Chastity? The ice in her drink is melting. She's over there in the corner talking to some guy. What guy? He's a missionary. Don't go over there unless you wanna be saved. Come dance with us. Whoo! Yeah! Whoo! Oh, I see. When you said, "Wait here" at the dance Online Radio you really meant for, like, six days. If you ever returned a phone call, you'd know I didn't bail on you. I got arrested. Oh, and here I thought you were just a jerk. Turns out you're also a criminal. I didn't even do anything. The charges were dropped. So let it go. Don't. Then what do you want from me? Nothing. I've seen red flags from you ever since I met you. In fact, you look like Communist China. What the hell am I doing here? It's like talking to a brick wall. You make up your mind, and that's that. Don't turn this around on me. I didn't do anything wrong. Oh, of course not. You're perfect. I am not. Have fun up here in your perfect world Online Radio all by your perfect self. Thanks. I will. Say hello to your parole officer! What is that? Get out! Get No! No! Hello! Get out of there! That is my closet! It looks like Internet Radio's in a great mood. Maybe now she'll accept my apology. Be careful. She's happy, not drunk. What's the difference? Drunk girls do things they normally wouldn't do Online Radio like forgive people or skinnydip. I'm gonna go wait in the pool. Some of these chicks are bound to come around sooner or later. I'm gonna talk to Internet Radio. Wish me luck. Good luck. All right. Tasty watermelon! All right! Right after I have a snack. Oh, my God, guys. Don't drop me. Thank God I wore my good underwear tonight.

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