Saturday, December 12, 2015
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type of thing. l still have my original best friend from way back in the day when l didn't have comedy. When l would go spend Christmas at his house. And l have people that love me and care about me whether this happens or doesn't happen. My brother will still let me sleep on his porch. So, it's going good man. Stay true to your roots. Thank you bro. Ladies and gentlemen this is a guy by the name of Fast Freddy. Fast Freddy has been coming out to see my shows for what, a good three, four years? you opened up for Weird Al Yankovic in San Diego. What year was that? Two thousand. So for six years, you have successfully stalked me. laughter high-pitched cries And made it to the special. This guy right here, is one of the greatest fans any entertainer could ever ask for. And he's just been a really really nice guy. We did a show in Denver, Colorado, and he had his entire family reunion come to the show. And any time l said his name, they're like, screeches But no, honestly dude, l appreciate your coming out tonight, and l'm gonna see to it you come out on the DVD, and you can burn it, make copies and give it to your friends and sell it at the Swap-Meet. But l really appreciate you and your wife always coming out to the shows. Man you've shown a Iot of Iove and l appreciate you showin' the Hawaiian shirt. Oh yeah. But what's your question bro? You've been all over the nation performing. Where have been some of your favorite places to perform? l don't wanna kiss butt but mmm one of them. wild cheering Yeah. Uh some favorite places have been like, um Phoenix, Arizona, San Antonio, Texas, Houston Texas, uh Florida, all over Florida. M iami. New York. l've had a lot of fun places. One of the most interesting was in Canada. l performed for Canadians. Eh. They say "eh" more than gang members. How you doin', eh? Orale, eh. l love performing everywhere. There are some places that l'd rather not go back, l won't mention them in case they sell the CD and DVD there. What's your name? Salvador. SaIvador! It's Iike a soap opera name. girl voice ¿ Donde vas? ¿Quièn eres? male voice Salvador. Just messin' with you bro. My question is, what's your mom's favorite dish that she taught you how to make or not? My mom's favorite dish that she wouId cook? Yeah. Uh Jack l n the Box. Drive-thru. See, my mom yeah she's Mexican but she ole school Mexican she didn't even wanna cook. When l was a little kid my mom would go play bingo, she still plays it and she'd come home at like one o'clock at night, and l'm like Mom l'm hungry. female Mexican accent Let's go. We'd go hit a Jack in the Box and it became a routine. When l was a little kid l used to be like this, then years later, Jack in the Box. Mom what's your favorite dish? TamaIes! Oh she's getting mad imitates Tamales! laughter Yeah 'cause she'd make 'em once a year for Christmas and make me cook 'em with her, l'm tying the pinche tamales, l'm holding high-pitched Amàrralos! l couldn't take a bath because there's a bunch of freakin' corn husks in the tub because she's letting them soak. I smeII Iike cuIo but she don't care. high-pitched I have to make tamaIes! Hey, Nick, what's your question? What's your favorite joke? What is my favorite joke? Oh that's a good question. Donkey! I know it's not exactly a joke but it makes me laugh every time l say it. Hey! l actually told a joke, it's not even a clean joke, my very first joke that l told when l was years old l did a show at my elementary school l went up on stage and l said this, l said unintelligible l said Why did the chicken cross the road? And the whole crowd said Why? And l said To check out the chicks. My name is Philip. lt's not really a question l just wanna say thanks, l'm just out of the Marine Corp and l'll tell you what, man you brought a lot of laughter to us out there. inaudible So l just want to say thanks to you. unintelligible You kept us alive through some rough times. So thanks a lot, brother. chuckles l appreciate it, man. l'm glad you could make it here, bro. Huh? Tacos, later, what's up? For Philip and everybody in the Marines,
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