my face, recognizes me from TV, he's, like, Hey, l know you you're a comedian. Yeah you're that guy from Comedy Central. You're the guy that does that joke about his friend at a hotel and you crank-call him and you call him a dirty Mexican and then you go "But it was funny, huh?" Oh l love that joke. That one and when you go, high-pitched female Chocolate cake! Ohh l love that joke! l hate to do this to you but we got two cars involved. l need your license and registration. Okay, here you go. Here you go. So he takes my info, goes back to the car with the two girls in it, the whole time he's back there, l tell everybody in the car, Check it out! He just recognized me from TV! Maybe if we have some fun with him crack some jokes, maybe he won't take the car. l don't care if l get a ticket, but as long as he doesn't take the car. Mondo, be silly, crack a joke. Martin be funny. Felipe. deep voice What, fool? Shut the hell up! So the cop comes back to the car, What the hell were you doing out there? Before l could think of something funny to say, from the back seat l hear, Fool he was testing the suspension. Oh my God. This pothead's gonna get me arrested. Officer, l'm sorry, that's my friend Felipe, that's the guy from the special the guy who says "But it was funny, huh?" He's just trying to get me in trouble. l'm really sorry. Whatever. So he goes back to his squad car with my driver's license, and he's swiping it in a computer. The whole time he's doing that, he's being yelled at from the back seat of my car. Hey, officer, thank God you have a computer! Last week we got stopped in Mexico, that fool had a Rolodex. The cop starts dying. laughs with screech l go, Oh we got him going we got him going. l told my buddy Mondo, Give me my CDs. l take out my Bad Boys II soundtrack, and l pop it in track three is the theme song to Cops. l tell my friend Felipe, Tell me when the cop starts walking. Okay, fool here he comes. l crank that song as loud as l could. static and beep Ha! Bad boys, what you what you what you gonna do. imitates beat music Best part, now the cop is walking to the beat. beat music Even better than that, the two hoochies in the car can hear the music and they're freakin' out. They're, like, high-pitched Oh my God we're gonna be on TV! The cop goes to the girls, gives them a ticket, lets them go. rrrrr Looks at our car and at this point, we're halfway through the song we're, like, sings reggae ♫ Police no give Me no break ♫ unintelligible Got our arms out the window like a bunch of idiots. The cop is in the middle of the freeway, dying. screech and laugh He walks over to the window and he's like, Shut it off! screech click Yes, sir. Hands me my license and the registration and he tells me, Gabriel l want you to do me a big favor, l want you to keep this tank under a hundred. You think you can do that? Uh-huh. Do that for me, keep on doing what you do, and you have yourself a nice day. But, but, that's it? No ticket? No ticket. l don't know what possessed me to look at this man and go, Why? laughter How come the girls got a ticket? And he tells me the coolest thing he says, 'Cause they couldn't make me laugh. laughter cheering Woo-whee! You don't understand Gabriel l've been on the force now for years. This is hands-down the funniest damn traffic stop l've ever been a part of. Do you have any idea how hard it is to give two sluts a ticket while listening to Cops? l damn near pissed myself l was laughing so hard. This is going in the books as one of the funniest things that ever happened to a police officer, l swear to God. The only story better than this one is a buddy of mine pulled over some fat guy that gave him doughnuts. So he starts walking away, and just as l'm about to start the car, So does that mean l can keep my weed? laughter l turn around to yell at my friend Too late, the cop is at the window, You wanna run that by me again son? You heard what l said fool. Oh you think this a big joke, don't you? You think that just because l gave your buddy here a break, l know who he is, l like what he does,